What is EFT?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples: A Roadmap for Lasting Connection
When relationships are in distress, it’s often because partners feel emotionally disconnected
You may be having the same arguments over and over, feeling unheard, or struggling to reach each other the way you once did.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a highly researched, evidence-based approach that helps couples break these painful cycles and rebuild a secure, loving bond.
What is EFT Couples Therapy?
Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a research-backed approach that helps couples move from conflict to connection by addressing the emotional patterns at the core of their struggles.Rather than just focusing on communication techniques, EFT helps partners recognize and change the deeper emotional responses that drive disconnection—like withdrawing when feeling hurt or becoming defensive, angry, or critical when feeling unappreciated.
With guidance and support, couples can learn to:
Recognize unhelpful patterns that keep them stuck.
Express their emotions and needs more openly and safely.
Strengthen trust and emotional security in their relationship.
Because EFT is grounded in attachment science, it’s been shown to work for couples across different backgrounds, relationship structures, and life stages—helping them build a deeper, lasting bond.
How is EFT Different from Other Types of Couples Therapy?
Many traditional couples therapy approaches focus on communication skills—like using "I" statements or practicing active listening. While these tools can be helpful, they don’t always address the deeper emotional patterns that keep couples stuck.
EFT goes beyond surface-level communication strategies by helping partners:
Identify and change the emotional cycles that drive disconnection.
Address the root causes of conflict, not just manage symptoms.
Create lasting change by strengthening emotional security, rather than just negotiating compromises.
Unlike approaches that focus primarily on solving day-to-day disagreements, EFT is based on attachment science, which means it helps couples understand and meet each other’s emotional needs in a lasting way.
If you’ve tried couples therapy before and felt like it only scratched the surface, EFT could be the deeper, more transformative approach you’re looking for.
Who can benefit from EFT?
If you and your partner are struggling with communication, trust, or emotional distance, EFT can help you:
Understand your partner’s emotions and needs on a deeper level.
Replace criticism and defensiveness with connection and empathy.
Break out of frustrating cycles of conflict or withdrawal.
Strengthen intimacy and trust.
Rediscover the joy and love in your relationship.
Through structured steps, EFT moves couples from feeling stuck in conflict to feeling safe, seen, and supported.
Is EFT right for you?
EFT is an excellent approach if you and your partner want to:
Improve communication and reduce conflict.
Rebuild emotional or physical intimacy.
Feel more secure and supported in your relationship.
Prevent small issues from turning into bigger problems.
To learn more about how EFT can help, visit my Couples Therapy page.